Wait (Varenna - Bellagio)

Today, dear reader, was Jayne's planned visit to Bellagio. It is only one stop away, on the correct ferry, but yesterday, it was the port where most people disembarked. The original plan was for me to walk down to the ferry terminal and purchase our tix as soon as I awoke. Encouraged by the lack of humanity around the pier yesterday, I opted not to do that.

Poor choice, dear reader. There was a price to be paid. The queue for the ticket office, have I mentioned no ticket machine, was back to the round-a-bout. Clearly this is the link to today's title Wait by the best group ever, The Beatles, from Rubber Soul released in 1965.

We arrived, 20 minutes before our ferry, to join a surprisingly long line. Knowing there would be many people in front of us who wanted to ask (stupid) questions, getting our tickets before the ferry arrived was always going to be touch and go, or line ball if you are from the continent of Trump. Have you renamed it right?

Anyway, time ticked away. The ferry to Menaggio occupied the car wharf. We moved forward, slowly. The Menaggio ferry refused to give way and was now late. Cool. More opportunity to get our ferry. We were now beside the kiosk so I was able to photograph the 'Buy your ticket online' poster. For future reference, you can't. Don't try. Cruel. Jump into the wound. The Menaggio ferry departed and we could see our ferry waiting to dock.

I am unable to caption my real thoughts.

At least they had to unload cars. We inched closer. The ticket window was in sight. The ferry horn blasted across the lake but it was still there. Goal achieved, we reached the window as the second blast from the ferry signaled it was leaving. Oh well, we would have to wait for the next one.

After we had secured round trip tickets, we moved from ticket office to queue, but one of the attendants pointed back away from the car ferry and said the magic word. No, not that one, seriously, dear reader. Bellagio. A passenger ferry, no cars, was arriving at the other end of the pier. This was a happy circumstance and prompted me to reassess the timetable and my interpretation. Now that is a skill that should be taught at school. What are teachers doing these days? Surely there is space in the curriculum to teach students how to read the Lake Como ferry timetable. It's an essential life skill.

Seated on the ferry, it was a 15 minute trip to Bellagio. Similar to yesterday, many people alighted and spilled onto the promenade where many beautiful people were already posing over the breakfast they would photograph but not eat.

Salito Serbelloni.

Down the main street we walked, around the corner and into a shopping strip that was the commencement of the fabled stone pathway. Or something like that. Cobblestoned lanes, roads, paths are de rigueur. Buzz buzz, as Hamlet would say. However, it did excite the masses, and there was a lot of flicking of hair and adjusting of make up and other boorish behavior.

It was time to tourist, so up Salito Serbelloni we went. I tried to get into as many 'influencer' photos as possible and loitered to look at stones just to delay them, as we have been delayed by their self-absorbed behavior. If only I'd brought my lip gloss, I could have taken more time. I mean, I can't toss my hair can I, dear reader?

Unimpressed. You?

At the top of the street, we turned toward the Romanesque St Giorgio Church. It is on the list of 'must do' but is unremarkable in every respect. Except that it is really old. Have I banged on about how Australians get excited because a church is 400 years old? No? Not this trip? I might remind you, dear reader, we have the oldest continuous culture in world at home and we disregard it constantly. But hey, what's 60,000 years of culture and successful land management against a church that bled the locals dry to ensure the ceiling was made of gold? Or a street that was cobbled with river pebbles 2,000 years ago?

This is not a church. It is a home. Cool, huh?

Moving on. We wandered the marvelous cobbled pavement, past stores selling the same thing, to a piazza where we could have breakfast. Coffee and croissant. A church dominated the square, St Giacomo's. In all honesty, I don't remember it now but will dutifully post a picture or two below. Jayne tells me he was beheaded. Makes sense given the stained glass window.

A side altar fresco.

The 'rose' window.

The altar and fresco.

The main reason for our visit to Bellagio was to make to Punta Spartivento, the promontory from which you can view three ways up and down Lake Como. I know you'll be shocked to read this, but there were people with selfie sticks and selfie tri-pods, occupying all the best vantage points. Giving zero fu... I mean being totally unconcerned about anyone else. 

Looking back at Varenna.

We managed to move from one end of the prom to the other, before the two (insert nationality of choice) women had moved from their starting point. FML.

Our next stop was Villa Melzi Giardini. As we have experienced, there was a wide lakeside promenade part of the way to our destination that just disappeared, think cycleways in Sydney, and we were forced on to the road, fighting for space with cars. Nevertheless, we survived and made the gardens.

It started out wide enough.

The Villa Melzi gardens are absolutely beautiful and this is the beginning of autumn, where most of the flowering is over. They have banks of azaleas, larger than I have ever seen, that would be truly spectacular in May. As well as rhododendron trees, the Japanese Maples were adding color as they changed from green to hues of red and the impatiens were still providing a pop of color wherever they were planted. 

The money shot?

Or is this one?

The gardens and lawn areas were spread along the shore of the lake and up the side of the hill. There was, as expected, the ubiquitous grand villa, a chapel and green houses. All very impressive and well worth the cost of admission to assist with the upkeep of such a beautiful estate.

The Villa Melzi.

We then ventured back to town to check out the wine shops we had walked past earlier. No deal. They were, as they say, tourist traps. Very expensive. 

Is there a message in this? A butterfly on a drain.

Alora, we walked back to the pier to await our ferry and return to Varenna. Happily, we did not have to queue first for tickets, as we clutched the prized round trip return tickets in our hands. Once back on familiar turf, we went to our favorite store to purchase some wine and walked home to construct a light dinner of small toasted bread, bruschetta style tomatoes, cheese and cold meats. What a life.

The crowd at the ferry terminal as we watched safely from our balcony.

Alla prossima

Girl's just wanna have fun(icular) Varenna - Como

The weather today was a slight variation on the perfection we have been experiencing of late, dear reader. The breeze, that arrived later yesterday, brought with it cloud and cooler temperatures, although the puffer jackets I saw in the morning were overkill.

I showered and dressed quickly and made my way straight to the ticket office at the ferry terminal to avoid the queues. Some days are quieter than others but it is difficult to pick the ebb and flow of the tour groups that they can so easily make life difficult because of their sheer number.

At 7:30am, there were few people about and I was the only person at the ticket office. After a short wait while the attendants finished their discussion, I was served. Two round trip tickets to Como on the fast ferry please. "You can only buy one way." came the reply. OK, but the fast ferry leaves at 8:40 I enquired? "No, that is holiday only". And Sundays as it turns out, but any information is dispensed sparingly. "The next fast ferry is 1:16pm." Of course it is, I thought. So the next 'slow' ferry to Como is the 11:07am? "Si". Alora, I purchased two one way tickets to Como and returned to tell Jayne the good news. There was no rush. We had time to waste.

The fast ferry takes about an hour from Varenna to Como, but the slow version is around 2 hours 30 minutes. It zig zags across the lake and is a passenger ferry only, no cars. The cloud and the haze that came with it meant it was not going to be a great day for photography and I would have preferred arriving at Como in the morning rather than mid-afternoon. The only other option was to catch a ferry to Bellagio and then go on to Como but I wasn't confident enough in the timetable to make that journey.

But I'm going to Como.

At the pier there were designated lines for Bellagio and Menaggio, but nothing for Como. Time to ask again. Either line was OK and the Como ferry was almost there. Quite a number of people disembarked and we quickly assumed our places on the back deck. Menaggio is directly across the Lake where a few more people went ashore. At Bellagio the ferry became a veritable ghost town and we secured rail side seats and braved the windy conditions until we arrived at Como.

A bridge at Nesso.

Villa del Balbianello.

Tremezzo, I think.

A villa.

Jayne's list included the funicular, hence today's very bad pun on the Cyndi Lauper classic, Girls just wanna have fun from 1983. The ferry docked at Pier 1 right opposite the funicular to Brunate. The line was already long as a tour group of around 50 people had just arrived. There was no way I was joining that line and decided that buying our ticket home was more important. Once we learned where the ticket office was.

The rail line for the funicular.

Around to Pier 3 where we had a good view of the sculpture, Life Electric, an homage to Alessandro Volta the inventor of the electric battery, not the vacuum cleaner. The person at the ferry information kiosk informed us that our return option, fast ferry style was a choice of 6:40pm or 6:40pm and we should buy the tickets while some were still available. It was settled, we would take the 6:40pm and it departed from  Pier 3. Tickets purchased, we set off for, wait for it, a church or cathedral, the thing with the duomo.

The sculpture.

Through the main piazza, past many restaurants, we stumbled across the biggest McDonald's store I've ever seen. Tables lined the street and there were precious few that were vacant. Every second shopfront was a restaurant and people queued for that swill. Disappointing in a country renowned for its cuisine.

Bigger than Texas.

The Basilica Cathedral Como, in the Piazza del Duomo, crowded by the other buildings and its sheer size made it difficult to obtain a clear photo of the façade. Inside was the usual array of soaring decorated ceilings, lavish side altars, a rose window and unusually, a number of tapestries depicting biblical scenes.

The ceiling.

The rose window.

A side altar.

One of the many tapestries.

You can never have too many Basilicas, right? So there was one just around the corner, the Basilica di San Fedele. It wasn't open to tourist traffic so there was no tick on my Basilica Bingo card.

San Fedele.

It was now time to return to the funicular and ride the rails to Brunate. The queue was significantly smaller and we happily, well, not unhappily, joined the line. we were soon followed by a group of Americans, one of whom remarked immediately that she wasn't queueing for this. I pointed out that the line had snaked around the corner less than an hour ago and the wait wouldn't be that long. It turned out that with ticket purchase we waited for two funicular trips before we found our way into a carriage. And so continues our quest to travel on every funicular we come across. So far I have missed two rides, due to maintenance work, one in Zagreb, the other Monserrat.

As I wrote earlier, the weather was not conducive to photography so I only have a couple of photos from Brunate. As we were on a timeline and there were still items to complete down in Como, the return walk to the lighthouse was out of consideration. What to do then? Birra, of course.

The ashtray was not for us.

Down to the bar where a table with a view was available and we enjoyed a couple of local pilseners while people watching. We also kept an eye on the queue for the funicular from "the balcony of the alps" back down to earth.

No idea, but it looks important.

It's a tight fit.

The home of Como 1907 .

By the time we reached Como, it was clear that our walk to Villa Olmo and its gardens was not going to be possible. We instead decided to have a late lunch/early dinner here and went off in search of a restaurant away from the extra busy piazzas, hopeful the food would be more authentic and crowds and prices reduced. Yeah nah. Still busy, still expensive and my cacio e pepe was lacking the pepe bit. I feel they tone it down for the bland tourist palette. Jayne did enjoy her carbonara. The cheapest wine was €40 a bottle and there was no house wine. Disappointing.

Interestingly, we observed the server, like one in Firenze, head off across the piazza to obtain a bottle of wine for someone to drink with their meal. Is it a storage issue on their premises or do they just popped over to the wine shop when someone orders something out of the main?

The statue of Alessandro Volta.

Post dinner, we strolled down to Pier 3 and joined the line to board the fast ferry for the ride back to Varenna and serenity.

Alla prossima.

Beautiful People (Varenna)

As much as I enjoy a small group tour, particularly one of Matt's food and wine experiences, (or should that be indulgences?) it is always nice to be back on our own, making our own decisions. Today, dear reader, we thought a slower pace and some time spent planning our stay on the lake would be our agenda.

The morning view from the balcony.

One thing I didn't mention from last evening was the beautiful people. Nah, I'm being polite, I mean the vapid and vacuous, the selfie crowd, those that primp and posture and pose are everywhere. They appear to be more intent on documenting how fabulous they look, at the expense of enjoying where they are. Shallow as a mud puddle. Look at me, look at me.

And then there are the new Porsches being driven from all parts of Europe to crowd the narrow cobblestoned streets. So far I have seen Porsches from Italy, of course, Germany, the Netherlands and Switzerland.

Our balcony.

Of course that brings me to today's title, Beautiful People by David Guetta and Sia. No need to explain if you read the lyrics.

The view from the back balcony looks out across the lake. In one direction, it is dominated by the ferry terminal. A slight turn north-west captures the water view between the hotel and another building. The position of the sun alters the light and creates a constantly changing vista. We are in an excellent position to watch the tourist traffic come and go. I thought the ferry terminal might pose a noise problem, but the double glazed windows are very effective.

Looking away from the terminal.

First thing this morning, a stroll along the Lover's Walk into the piazza looked inviting before the hordes arrived from parts unknown. It is very picturesque and the impatiens are still flowering beautifully although many other plants have finished blooming. The walk itself could hardly be described as romantic later in the day when it resembles a cattle run with streams of people fighting for position, walking in both directions. Happily today we almost had it to ourselves.

The Lover's Walk.

There are a number of cafés and restaurants further around toward the piazza and we scoped these out as we continued walking. We turned up a laneway toward the piazza where we had dinner last night to discover the breakfast options were limited. A quick visit to the tourist information centre to gather some brochures and ask some questions would assist in planning. We learned the landmark villa, del Balbianello, is only open Tuesdays and weekends and is totally booked out while we are here so it has been scratched from our list. We won't lose too much sleep over that omission as we are neither Star Wars nor James Bond fans.

The last of the spring flowers on the Lover's Walk.

Back down to the walkway we settled on Bar Molo. It has mixed reviews with the food being described as "hit and miss" but a killer view of the lake. Today it was both. We were hit by the expense, we may as well be in Switzerland, but the food was definitely a miss and the coffee was not strong enough.

One of the disappointing facts about the breakfast options is the number of cafés offering an "American breakfast". This is Italy, not America. Travel is about the experience and broadening the mind, not eating the same food you would at home. Then again, I guess it's about catering to the crowd. It seems every American with a passport is in Italy at the moment.

Laneways are steep.

At breakfast, a young woman sat waterside with her phone on a selfie-stick (and aren't they so uncool) and filmed herself not eating her breakfast. Another young man, female partner dutifully walking 5 metres behind, waltzed in with his handbag on his shoulder to be told there was no take-away service. We saw them both last evening, curiously wearing the same outfits. They looked a little weather worn in the mid-morning.

Not a great picture, but you get the idea.

The walk back along the water was fascinating. It is wedding season. The number of brides could not be counted and they were all lining up with their groom, photographer, flowers and entourage to board the old fashioned timber speed boats. The tour groups and crowds were growing in number so we returned to our apartment to plan for the next few days.

It's unkind, but I was hoping she'd fall in.

Varenna is one of the smaller, quieter villages on the lake. Allegedly. It seems crowded to us. While well serviced with ferries, we wanted to go to Como and deciphering the ferry timetable takes the skill of a quantum physicist. We had no idea and decided to visit the ticket office later in day and pose the question.

Mid-afternoon we ventured out once again to both ends of the village to two different 'convenience' stores to purchase supplies for dinner and wine. We also checked out the local church, San Giorgio. It's a thing in Europe, you can't walk past a church because you never what hidden beauty lies inside.

Look closely, a fascinating fresco.

The altar in black marble.

A 17th century confessional.

The salumeria in the piazza had a queue out the door because they also make sandwiches and the square was packed with lanyard wearing people, looking for sustenance. The other end of town towards the train station was not so crowded and also cheaper. Dinner requisites purchased, it was off to the ferry ticket office.

At this stage, we had read about the ferry service, checked out their website, attempted to purchase tickets online and read their timetable. Well, attempted to decipher the timetable. The line was small and moved quickly. Once at the window, we were informed that you could not buy tickets online, despite the website saying it was possible, and you could only buy tickets on the day of travel. So, we'll be back tomorrow.

The terminal and part of the crowd.

I unfurled the timetable on the kitchen table and thought I could make sense of it. We would opt for the fast ferry tomorrow so I would walk the few metres to the ticket office and buy our tickets in the morning. Jayne had everything mapped out for a day in Como and for the following day in Bellagio and then Bellano; it was time to sit on the balcony and watch the passing parade and have a medicinal glass of wine. Or two.

It was warm on the balcony but the heat was tempered by a nice breeze. The crowds continued to swell and dissipate as the ferries came and went. Their numbers dwindled as the sun began to set and we retired inside for a light dinner. No, dear reader, not a Matt's Produce Tours light dinner, a genuinely light meal. We consumed so much food last week, we don't really need to eat at all. We had purchased a loaf of bread on our travels which we toasted, slathered on olive oil and topped it with fresh tomatoes, cheese and a selection of mortadella, prosciutto and salami. The perfect end to our first full day. There may also have a been a chianti to wash the meal down.

Lover's walk from the balcony, glass in hand.

Tomorrow is the ferry experience. Wish me luck.

Alla prossima.