Reckless (Vanuatu to Sydney)

Our final day dawned to grey skies and rain, at times torrential, wind driven rain. It was an excellent day to lie in bed and listen to the sound of rain on the roof and watch the squalls sweep across the bay. However, we had to pack and prepare for the trip home and, as there were people arriving to replace us, we had to vacate the villa by 11am. Sad face.

We dragged ourselves from the bed and headed for breakfast. The rain continued.

Even in rain it's beautiful.

It occurred to me as we sat in the restaurant, following our eviction from the villa, that I hadn't really described its interior. From the entry to the right was the deck with two sun lounges, a day bed under a cabana, the plunge pool and a view across Havannah Harbour to die for. The immediate entry is into the lounge area. It also contains a long, day-bed style lounge. This was where Sebastian the crab liked to hide. There is also a coffee table and TV. The TV may or not have functioned; we never turned it on.

It's a repeat, but it helps to illustrate the text

There were three stairs up to the bedroom where a wall stopped people falling from one level to the other. Here sat the king bed with matching side tables and lamps. The lamp shades were deadly and were made from some sharp pointed quill like things. To fall upon one would mean certain death by a thousand cuts; well, puncture wounds.

There was another wall behind the bed which separated it from the kitchenette and wardrobe. The kitchenette contained a coffee machine, sink, bar fridge, kettle, cups and wine glasses. The usual equipment. Then at the back of the villa there were dual hand basins and mirrors. To the right, the toilet and to the left, the rain shower and double bath. The bath itself sat underneath a perspex roof that provided that outdoor feeling and natural light to the otherwise darker interior of the area, away from the deck.

There were fans on both levels and air conditioning that the staff turned on every night while we were at dinner, and we switched off as soon as we returned. The fans were all that was required. All in all, the villa was beautifully appointed.

And here we waited

And so back to the restaurant to blog and wait for lunch before our transfer to the airport.

The Business Lounge at the airport, we were informed, was rated as one of the worst anywhere. My response, well, they haven't been to the Qantas Lounge in Broome. Anyway, it was air conditioned, there was wine, red and white - both refrigerated, along with beer, soft drink, coffee and tea, and that was it.

Quite expansive. The snack bowls were bereft.

The plane was the same as the one we travelled in, on the way over. It was suggested by other resort guests that Air Vanuatu only have one functioning plane left in the fleet and that the airline's days are probably numbered. Entirely believable. The staff were lovely, but beyond that, there was nothing to recommend the experience.

The food menu on the return flight was almost identical. I'm not sure if that's all they offer or they make a lot of it and then serve it until it runs out. The only safe option was dessert, carrot cake. It was popular. 

Better than nothing? Not in my opinion.

As we settled into our seats the passenger across the aisle showed us his pillow. Obviously another passenger had, um, fallen asleep and dribbled on the pillow. A really big dribble. Clearly quality control is an issue. I suggested getting the blue light out to check the blanket before allowing it to touch his skin. 

Safety Instructions: do not touch pillow

Business was only 50% occupied which, as it turns out, was fortunate. Now I'm not sure when the excitement commenced. My hearing is already compromised but add in the noise of plane and I find it difficult to ascertain a specific point of origin. Initially I thought the couple across the aisle were talking and laughing. The voices continued and grew louder. Then Jayne commented on the amount of traffic in the aisle as the air staff were continually tracking back and forth. It was then I noticed another passenger had joined us in the Business cabin. She offered a weak smile. The noise from behind the economy curtain swelled and this time was dotted with 'f' bombs.

They might only have one plane but it still works

The offending words came from some guy in his late 40s or so. Who knows, he may have been younger and just had a hard life. Or he could have been in 50s. Whatever, his language, loudness of voice and behaviour were not suitable for an indoor environment, let alone an aircraft. And so it continued. The staff tried to placate him. The young woman who had joined us was providing a written statement. Then the crew moved another female passenger into the anteroom at the front of the plane and commenced taking a statement from her.

The young couple opposite us, who had been at The Havannah and sat with us in the lounge pre-flight, spoke to the woman now sitting behind them. It transpires that this man had tried to give her a massage on a number of occasions. It makes my skin crawl. You should have seen this little weed of a man. Nondescript height, thin, red hair, loud black and orange shirt, pasty skin. When his advances were rejected and words were exchanged he became abusive to pretty much everyone it appears. We thought he must have been drunk, but it wasn't on inflight refreshments - they do not serve alcohol.

New Caledonia.  Best viewed from the air

The crew radioed ahead and, when we arrived in Sydney, there were four police officers waiting to deal with him. I had an excellent view of things as we waited for the land bridge to connect to the plane. Perhaps the person driving the bridge was inexperienced, perhaps she was just feeling the pressure with the police standing behind her, but it took about 4 attempts to get the bridge into place. 

Meanwhile, we had all been told to remain in our seats. With the engines silent, I was now able to hear clearly and our miscreant friend was no happier despite the entire row in front of him now being vacant. Then he started up with, "Open the door", "What are we waiting for?", "I need to go and have a smoke, open the door", "If you're waiting for the queen, she's dead, open the door", "Jesus Christ if you don't open the door, I'll get up and do it myself". Except every second word was that special f word. The plane had gone eerily silent and anyone who had been unaware of this man's presence knew about him now. His accent was also very obvious. He was Irish. I'd deport him. Grub. And despite all his protestations, swearing and threats, he sat, in his seat, seat belt on as directed.

In our seats, we could see the police were on the plane and talking to the staff in the galley area. The man got louder and then one of the flight crew came to fetch him to the front of the plane. No doubt the entitled moron thought his loud attention attracting behaviour had won the day. A pity I couldn't see his face when he went through the curtain to be greeted by four police officers, one with an M16 in his arms. 

Still we were seated as two officers went to the man's seat to check his overhead locker and to speak with the unfortunate passengers who had been stuck in his immediate proximity. As they went to go back up the aisle, the passengers broke into spontaneous applause and the M16 wielding officer took a bow before he departed. Now that's what I call "inflight entertainment"! Who needs fancy individual touch screens when you can have real life drama at high altitude? Thanks Air Vanuatu! 

All jokes aside, it was a tough day at the office for the cabin crew and they handled the situational really well. Luckily, they had spare seats to provide the distressed victims with some space.

They needed to realign the bridge before we could disembark or deplane as it was referred to recently. As we were leaving, one of the officers was speaking with the crew and relayed how when they reached the bridge to the terminal our potty-mouthed friend had thrown himself onto the ground. He told the police he was bipolar and hadn't had his meds and was unwell. Not willing to take a risk, the police called the ambulance and as we left, he was sitting in a wheelchair awaiting medical assessment.

As we approached customs, the women who had been the focus of his attention were in discussion. Phrases like racial vilification and sexual harassment were clearly audible.

Our bags arrived quickly, we cleared customs even more quickly and were home within 20 minutes, albeit 30 minutes later than expected because of one poorly behaved man. And I use the term man advisedly.

Well done to the police, well done to the air crew and well done to the passengers that stood up to this badly behaved buffoon. I hope he gets what he deserves through the courts.

And that, my dear reader is that, for travel in 2022. Next year promises to be a big year, New Zealand, the Coral Coast of Western Australia, Broome to Darwin and Vietnam and Cambodia on an APT cruise. There are some minor side trips as well.

Finally, the title - Reckless, that classic from Australian Crawl from 1983. Why you ask dear reader? The line, "she don't like that kind of behaviour, don't be so reckless". It appears that all but one passenger on the plane "don't like that kind of behaviour". 

Until next time.