Ironic (Bologna)

Transit days always seem to tire us out, dear reader, so we do enjoy the later start to the day that is common in Italy. We did have plans for the morning although some of them were postponed in the knowledge we had a walking tour scheduled for the afternoon.

Early morning although the light is as soft as evening.

Initially we had booked the tour for the morning, but our guide obviously got a better offer and requested a change of time until the afternoon. It would be a little warmer but that was of no consequence. Instead we went in search of a supermarket and set out to buy some provisions. It was only a 10 minute walk but we discovered an Aldi on the way home that was closer and cheaper. It matters what you put into a Google map search. A "supermarket" search does not show Aldi. I imagine that is because they have not paid for the privilege. Remember when you could rely on Google? Those days are over.

We dropped the groceries at home and wandered the nearby markets. As I said yesterday, the stalls directly below us are an artisan market, all hand made goods. Across the Via Independenza, it is all clothing. Some 'vintage', mostly not. Without casting aspersions on the stall owners and their goods, I doubt that the name brand gear was genuine. There was no need to walk down every aisle and it was crowded.

The search continued to buy Jayne a new pair of Mizuno runners. I found a couple of stores that stocked the brand but their stock was limited and the quest was unfulfilled. We returned to the apartment to have lunch before we set out to meet our guide.

At the appropriate time, we wandered down a now familiar street of Bologna, Via Independenza, to arrive at our rendez-vous point, outside a bookshop near the Piazza Maggiore. No one seemed to fit the bill for our guide. Google maps suggested a (non-existent bookshop, how good is AI?) around the corner so we wandered around towards the fountain, featuring Neptune and his extended hand, still to no avail. A WhatsApp exchange sent us back to the original point, outside the bookshop where our guide, in green shirt, met us and ushered us back towards Neptune. 

Nettuno. OK Neptune and a tower and stuff.

The company we chose for our tour allows you to select your own guide. I'd rather pot luck because you are making decisions based on little genuine knowledge. We selected our guide on the basis of his passion for history, art and architecture … and he delivered in spades, for 36 minutes non-stop, providing “context” for the rest of the tour. To begin, we can acknowledge that much of what he stated, very categorically, and forcefully, was accurate but we were not here for a lecture. It was like we were being berated for being there for the wrong reasons. Not that he asked why we were there or what our respective backgrounds were.

Michelangelo (allegedly) aged 19.

You would recall, dear reader, how our guide in Milano was like walking the city with an old friend. This was the opposite. And it was by no means free.

We were told, in no uncertain terms, that the people, both locals and tourists, were ignorant of all that matters in Bologna, in our guide's opinion, and that while people may come for the food and some sightseeing, what really mattered and should draw crowds was the, unsurpassed in Europe, landscape of medieval/renaissance architecture that surrounded us. It is reasonable to point out that sometimes the finesse of language can get lost in translation. If that is the case here, it is lost, never to be found.

They love a tower here, he says disrespectfully.

In the course of this lecture, we discovered that our unrivalled talent continues – our ability to be in major places when the most major event is taking place. Our guide informed us that the madding crowds, ignoring the most significant aspects of the city, were in fact gathering for the impending feast day of the city’s patron saint, Petronio, outside whose basilica, we were standing. Bugger.

A horse staircase. Why not. Dogs go everywhere.

Eventually and thankfully, the lecture paused and we actually moved off to begin the exploration of the old town area which included the Sala Borsa and the Basilica which dominates the Piazza Maggiore. Inside the Basilica we saw incredible examples of mediaeval and renaissance art and wood inlay art to which very few people were paying attention, along with a sun dial timeline that stretched almost the full extent of the basilica floor.

Zodiac on the floor.

The eye through which the sun hits the zodiac line.

We were schooled in the particular use of terracotta and sandstone – not marble, that characterises the adornments of the buildings, all of which are basically in the original state, even though they are exposed to the elements. Interestingly the lecture on what should be appreciated and admired in Bologna greatly increased in volume when there was an opportunity to educate the groundlings around us.

Clay statues. It's so obvious really.

Once we left the piazza precinct, we moved to the world’s first non-monastic university which features shields that represented students from all over Europe and the anatomy theatre where autopsies were first demonstrated for medical students to observe. 

Shields above a staircase.

Real shields, not just painted versions.

He was about to walk us past the medical theatre, "unless you are a doctor" he threw over his shoulder. "I'm a doctor," I replied. That made him pause. "Not medical" I added. "Education" Jayne chipped in. Our guide is a university lecturer, used to haranguing poor 'uneducated' students and he suddenly realised we were educated.  Funny and awkward. For him.

The dissection slab.

The professor's seat.

There was subtle shift in commentary after that. At times he now explained he was being humorous or ironic. I doubted both, but it does provide us with an excuse to use that wonderful song by Alanis Morisette, Ironic, because the irony here is, it isn't and neither was our guide.

We also went through the church precinct where St Dominic is buried under a marble sarcophagus that was incrementally decorated by many artists, including Michelangelo and Nicolo. Again, proving our guide correct, we were almost the only people present and able to walk within centimetres of Michelangelo’s contribution to the resting place of the founder of the Dominican order. We didn’t get that close to The David in Firenze. To be fair, The David is a bit more impressive than a small angel.

Nice angel Michelangelo.

Perspective shot. Spot the angel.

Our tour also took us to the seven churches of Saint Stefano, each built around and over the other, and to the oldest house (13th century) still in existence in Bologna. We also learnt about the origin of the famous Bolognese porticos, born out of people trying to rort their land entitlements by building houses where the upper floors sloped out from the lower floors. Eventually, the powers that be told them they had to fill in the gaps with the porticos underneath or demolish their overhangs.

No portico.

The oldest house in Bologna.

Honestly, we can’t remember all the information that was delivered, gatling gun style, but we came away with the unarguable view that Bologna should never be referred to as “the fat one”, the food capital of Italy but the pre-eminent European site of Romanesque/Medieval/Renaissance architecture and art. At least within the hearing of guide.

I miss Roberto. Had we known that Bologna also has Greeters we would have contacted them.

The exterior of Basilica San Domeninco from the courtyard.

Ultimately we saw sights and learned things that a 'regular' tourist may not ever see or have explained to them. Firming in my mind is that Italy is in competition with itself. From our time in Lucca and Pisa it would appear that the whole of Tuscany is at war with Tuscany, metaphorically. Our guide today believed that Bologna deserves a higher place in the cultural pecking order and has been relegated to the idea of the "fat one" a food only destination. At one point he conjectured that this is a conspiracy to spread the tourist traps to different parts of the country.

Wood carving in a cloister seat.

Beside the lecturn.

Italy is a food destination. We came here for the history, the culture and the people. The wonderful food culture is a bonus, but it too is culture. The slow food concept; food the way it has been for generations. That too is Italy. And in a fast paced, ever rushing society, that is as important as the past, because it has the possibility of impacting on the future.

Past and present intersect.

Once our tour was over, exhausted, we wandered home to take a breath, congratulate ourselves on having been re-educated, unlike the great unwashed masses we passed throughout the day, and to decide on a suitable venue for a totally deserved drink (or two) and dinner. Happily, we settled on an Osteria not 5 minutes’ walk from home.

I think we deserve an honorary doctorate in the architecture and Bologna. Now, is that Medieval, Mannerist, Renaissance or Baroque? It's not a discussion for now. Ask any Australian politician, they'll tell you. it's too soon.

Tomorrow is the feast of Saint Petronio, patron saint of Bologna, so we will consider how best to spend the day while not being trampled by the ignorant crowds.

Alla prossima.