By the rivers dark (Paringa)

Did I mention today's untimely start dear reader? Like many things in life it is all about perspective. Jayne considered the 6:45am wake up untimely, I'd already been up for some time. Why the early rise? We are going on 'safari', their word not mine. A guided wetlands safari down the Murray past Renmark through a series of small creeks to the Heading Cliffs. An early start is essential to be able to see the wildlife as well as beat the sun, as it can be quite ferocious here. All of this meant breakfast was coffee. I have endured worse privations.

Today's title is courtesy of Leonard Cohen. It's a bit of a stretch because the river was not dark when we were on it, but hey, after 300+ blog posts I was bound to run out of inspiration at some point.

Tony and Jeremy turned up at exactly 8am to drive us to the boat and give us a rundown of what to expect. Jeremy is an indigenous man who usually works at Calpernum Station where they also run eco-tours. His knowledge was most welcome and insightful. After a quick detour to the closest river lock number 5, where Tony discussed how it worked and the role the many locks on the river play in flood mitigation, we headed for the quieter areas, back streams and wetlands.

A peaceful way to begin the day on the river

Many of the streams we meandered down were less than 1 metre deep.  Many had logs and other hidden obstacles, as well as the more obvious navigational concerns posed by reeds and overhanging tree branches. It is hard to imagine that some of the waterways we travelled on form part of the course for the annual Dinghy Derby. You really need to read about it. Two people in a tinnie with an outboard motor no larger than 30 hp, tearing up the waterways at breakneck speed - all for the glory of winning a $6 perpetual trophy. It seemed at odds with the serenity of the morning and the leisurely pace at which we motored.

It was as tight as it looks

There were plenty of birds and animals. We saw kangaroos, emus, whistling kites, peregrine falcons, herons, spoonbills, swallows, swans, yellow rosellas, red rump parrots and kookaburras to name a few. Along the way we stopped for a cup of tea and a piece of homemade chocolate slice and chatted about the Dinghy Derby and other topics related to the river.

A young emu

Tony had told us that we would be stopping for brunch. We had anticipated a muffin and another cup of tea. Instead, we were reacquainted with Rob from yesterday, who had a table set with OJ and bubbles on ice. After Rob had shown us around, and we tasted saltbush, pigs face and samphire, all growing naturally, we were seated for our brunch to be served. Scrambled eggs with samphire, asparagus, tomato, bacon, mushroom and focaccia. Once again The Frames had exceeded expectation.

Better than a muffin

Jeremy then walked us along the river bank pointing out signs of indigenous occupation. He identified clay ovens, ring trees, canoe trees and other trees that were used to make shields and denote burial sites. It was incredibly interesting and Jeremy is most knowledgeable.

A canoe tree

A ring tree where the branches have been joined

Back on the boat we headed for Heading Cliffs a most spectacular cliff formation of clay. That was the turning point and Tony steered the boat towards home. The wind had picked up by this time and trip back was very bumpy. Still, as promised, he had us back at the mooring by 1:30pm. 

The cliffs

On arrival at our retreat, we discovered a complimentary bottle of bubbles waiting for us on the bench. But first it was time for a few laps of the pool to stretch my back after sitting down for so long. Perhaps the bumpy ride home was like a chiropractic treatment but my back is the best it's been for a while. Laps done, we popped the cork on the bubbles and settled into some serious relaxation. I tempered this with a trip to the infrared sauna. Twenty minutes at 50°C certainly brought on a sweat before another dip in the pool. Strangely enjoyable.

Dinner tonight was the in-room chef. Yes dear reader the chef appears at your door with all the requisites for cooking you a three course dinner - pre-ordered of course. Karly arrived at 6pm and immediately set to work, although all the major prep had been done earlier. There was an amuse bouche, entrée of prawns and beef fillet, mains of glazed chicken and glazed lamb rump and dessert, lemon posset and chocolate delicé. This was accompanied by a 2017 The Frames Shiraz. Rick makes his own wine and a damn fine drop it is too.

Prawns

Beef fillet

Glazed lamb rump

The chicken

And by the time we reached dessert I forgot to take photos. Sorry.

In the early evening, a storm whipped through. It did little more than wet the ground, drop red dust everywhere and ensure we couldn't sit on the balcony to enjoy the evening star gazing. After the day we'd had, however, there were no complaints. Karly served the meal, cleaned up afterwards and then disappeared into the night. Excellent.

This is our last night at The Frames, tomorrow we head for the Barossa Valley.

Until then.

Ironic (Adelaide to Paringa)

Before I begin, there is something I forgot to mention in the last post. Last night walking home from the restaurant we were approached by some random, who asked if we could take his picture in front of a car. He was wearing a yellow T-shirt and yellow shoes, clearly a man of taste. And the car? A Mercedes 80, perhaps, that had a yellow stripe that ran the length of the car. There is an undercurrent of car-bogan in Adelaide. Apparently they have a thing locals refer to as 'Clipsal'. Whatever that is. Anyway, the young man in yellow posed for several photos and was very grateful for our assistance.

And how was the night you ask dear reader? Promising, initially. As the night settled on Adelaide and the Fringe powered to its ultimate conclusion, the hotel descended into an uneasy ceasefire which was as short lived as in the Ukraine. The door slammers seemed to have run out of energy by 1:30am and we drifted into a fitful sleep that was all but destroyed at 3am by whooping, more door slamming, voices and at 3:30am, the thundering footsteps of someone running a lap of the rectangular corridor. Quiet returned but briefly and the voices returned at 5am. No dear reader, they were real voices, not the ones in my head that were telling me to do horrible things to the revellers. 

The final insult, as I hovered close to sleep, was my phone pinging at 7am. It was a message from the hotel informing me of their online checkout system and hoping I had enjoyed my stay. Ironic, in a sense that Alanis Morissette wouldn't understand and the inspiration for today's title. There are two hotels in Sydney that I banned from my travel list years ago, The Menzies and the Sydney Mercure, both because the rooms don't appear to be sufficiently insulated from outside noise, caused by marauding guests. Now we can add the Crowne in Adelaide to the list. Moving on. We hit the road.

Sunset at The Frames. Out of sequence to break up the text.

Distance and time are relative concepts and depend on many individual factors. Adelaide natives would not generally consider a day drive to Renmark as a thing. It's just on 3 hours and is a very easy, pleasant drive, compared to doing battle (and paying exorbitant tolls for the privilege) around Sydney.

We negotiated our way out of Adelaide with relative ease. Signposting was clear and Waze (a phone map app) navigated us from door to door with minor, planned detours.

First stop Nuriootpa. We were going to have brunch there but decided to push on. The real stop over reason was send a fax. Yes dear reader you read that correctly. A fax. "Welcome to the 1990s," I said to the trainee in the Post Office who responded when I asked could they send a fax with, "What is a fax?" He had to be directed to the machine and also had to be guided in how to use it. Trying to fax with the lid up on the machine was not terribly successful. Medical professionals and government departments still insist on a fax for 'security reasons'. Absolute rubbish. Like the current federal government. Anyway, apart from causing a customer queue at the Nuri P.O., we have supported a trainee to further develop his skills and knowledge, although he may never need to use this particular skill set again...

The next stage of the drive was as uneventful. There were a lot of trucks, mostly heading in the other direction, some occasional road works, an overstuffed fruit bin - the ban on bringing fruit into the Riverland is back again. The car, a hybrid Camry (I got upgraded again), performed well with minimal fuel consumption and we arrived in Berri for a late lunch.

Google suggested a café called Sprouts (see we do check them out Alex). It was easily located and well frequented by locals - always a good sign. The coffee was, well, let's not talk about that. The food was quite good: quiche and focaccia. Hunger sated, we wandered around town for three minutes. That option exhausted, we headed for Renmark.

I'm not sure if I mentioned, dear reader, that the last time we were in this part of Adelaide was January 1981. Curiously some things have changed and sadly others have not. Way back last century, all I remember of Berri was orange orchards and the Giant Orange. Australians love their giant things, Google it. Back in 1981, we climbed the Giant Orange to an observation tower inside it, to survey, well, orange orchards. Forty one years later the Giant Orange is still there, looking the worse for wear. We have certainly aged better. It is now locked behind a fence and there is no access. The locals joke that perhaps it should be painted yellow and renamed the Giant Lemon. Harsh. The orange orchards are also gone, replaced by almonds and grapes.

Last time we visited Renmark, they had these really cool bins in the streets, shaped like pelicans - you put your rubbish in the beak. This time? No, dear reader, modern time and new bins. Also, no pelicans on the river. Also, no people on the streets. Maybe Monday has been banned in SA and no-one told us. Now that would be an interesting concept. Discuss.

Not a pelican

We did wander along a new riverside walk that has been built, complete with viewing platforms and signage, pausing to watch some water skiers/boarders/tube riders cutting their ways up and down the river. It was also apparent that houseboats are a thing down in this neck of the river. Why? It turns out the first houseboat ever was built in Renmark - a bloke put his caravan on a barge/pontoon and voilà!!

The Frames is located in Paringa, less than 10 minutes drive from Renmark and we arrived at the appointed time of 3pm, to be shown through our palatial, private accommodation. OMG! It looks better than the pictures on the website and my photos do not do it justice. It is opulence. A brief run down you request, dear reader? Ok, briefly: bedroom with king size massage bed, massive ensuite, heated floor, full kitchen with island bench, fire place, rain shower, outdoor bath, infrared sauna, spa, heated pool, dining room, lounge area, balcony overlooking the river, poolside BBQ with outdoor fridge, laundry - fully stocked fridge - we returned today to find a complimentary bottle of bubbles on the kitchen bench. Words are really inadequate. There is nothing that has been overlooked or omitted. We are coming back.

The view of our accommodation from the river

We didn't really have time to settle in and enjoy the retreat. After a swim to stretch my back, a lazy 30 laps, in our 10 metre pool, we were collected to experience the sunset 'gondola' cruise on the river Murray. Yes, dear reader, it is Stefano de Pieri's 'gondola on the Murray' even though it is not a gondola. It is a small yacht that had been abandoned and was salvaged and restored and renovated. It is no longer a yacht but a small cruiser.

The pool, spa and bbq area

Kitchen

Outdoor bath, great star view at night

Infrared sauna

Lounge area through balcony to the river

Rob, our skipper and guide, provided not only a chilled bottle of bubbles and a cheese and charcuterie board,  but also a colourful, informative tour of the river, its surrounds and history around Paringa and Renmark. While the sights dictated the tour, the conversation was no rote script that we have experienced in other locales - we asked questions and threw in our own observations to the conversation as we whiled away a couple of hours on the water. It was a warm, sunny afternoon and an extremely pleasant start to our retreat experience.

Evening on the river

About 2 hours later, we were dropped back to our retreat to contemplate our BBQ dinner, for which all the necessaries were in the fridge. Prawns, chicken, sausages, rib eye steak, corn on the cob, three different salads and a variety of condiments. Not to mention the wine and other beverages. Alcoholic lemonade? New to me. Haven't had time to try one yet.

Dinner done at leisure, we enjoyed a night cap on the verandah/balcony and marvelled at the stars. You don't get nights like this in the big city. Crystal clear and inky black. Just amazing. The saucepan of our childhood star gazing is still there...

We have another big tomorrow with an untimely early start.

Until then.