detachable penis (Cognac - Saintes)

bet that got your attention, and yes it is a song. Try Youtube, it's by King Missile. Anyway, the reason for this title is ... nah, you'll have to work it out as you read.

But while I've got you reading, have I talked about the truck drivers over here? Totally cool. Obey the rules and don't speed. True. They all drive like my bro and go with the flow. It is so different. There are strict variable limits that are observed and there are areas where the trucks can't overtake cars. Love it.

If you've been to France, have you ever noticed that the landscape looks like those really annoying jigsaw puzzles you find in the holiday house at Christmas time (with a piece missing)?

Is this a jigsaw puzzle, or what?

Cognac
You know how Robe is not known for robes? Well, Surprise, surprise, Cognac is known for cognac. But only if you arrive at the correct time. *sigh* It was a bit of a drive to Cognac, so we allowed 2 hours to get there and arrive at the Cognac house for an 11 o'clock tour - in English.

Definitely NOT HAPPY!

 The drive was, in parts, traumatic, for the usual reasons: narrow streets, trucks in narrow streets, insufficient room for 2 cars in narrow streets, non-specific directions from the GPS/TomTom, road closures ... bla, bla, nothing new. Anyway, we arrived at 5 minutes past 11. Was the tour gone? Nuh. It didn't happen. First tour in English (not American) was 3pm. So we went to another Cognac house. Similar story. Tour at 1:30pm. This didn't fit because we had to get to Saintes and back, an hour round trip, and do some unfinished sight-seeing there as well.

The return to Saintes
OK, I broke my rule of 'never go back' but we had unfinished business after the thunderstorm. We wanted to see the Germanic Arch and the Abbey that had the 'vigorous face of Jesus' portrayed in it.

Anyway, <insert traumatic drive, closed roads, parking areas masquerading as markets, etc, etc> found a nice spot by the obviously-in-flood, Charente River. We've got pictures, but a flood here just looks like high tide to us. So, we crossed the river and snapped the arch.

Speaks for itself really.

There were 'some' directions to the Abbey, but they dried up after we crossed the river. While I was taking arty shots of the column, Jayne looked around the area - the Tourist Bureau was closed because it was the French lunch (three hours) time.

When I got back, she had found this little museum, closed, lunch time remember? But I took a shot through the door of the statue they found while digging a new morgue at the hospital. It was an interesting area. They had gathered lots of things they had found in the re-development of Saintes, but, nothing was open because it was .... yeah, yeah. Anyway, the statue looks somewhat Davidish, but with modesty.

So, dude, meet you at the gym later?

Then we set off in search of the Abbey with the 'vigorous head of Christ'. Yes, you guessed it. Many roads to take, but no directions once you crossed the river. We walked into a park and Jayne decided to frighten a local and ask directions. Ah yes, the usual story. Jayne had a little French and the local had a little English. Between them we scored better directions than the tourist office offered.

Abbey aux Dammes

 Rather unassuming. And for a reason. The other photo is a close up of the archway. It depicts five stories from the Bible. The inside was as most of these churches are, high domes. But, the 'vigorous face of Christ' was nowhere to be found. Major disappointment! I drove back just to see the vigorous dude.

Yeah, I had a vigorous head, but someone broke it.

 Cognac
OK, I broke the 'never go back' rule twice in one day, but it was for Jayne, so that's OK.(Actually we never got to Cognac the first time so technically this was not going back).

The choice was to stay in Saintes and go back to the amphitheatre or go back to Cognac and have the tour of the distillery. I am confident that we will see another amphitheatre, but not so sure we'll get back to Cognac. So, easy decision.

and this is where we ended up.

The tour was not just a distillery walk, it took in the history of the building. It was quite interesting, was the birthplace of King Francois I and had stories from the early years before the revolution and then after. At one stage the building was used as a prison. We're talking the 1700s, but the graffiti that was carved into the soft limestone rock is still there today. The female tour guide pointed out, as did the written guide, that most of the graffiti was of ships - the inmates were, after all, mostly sailors. MOST of the graffiti!

Nice graffiti boat

Graffiti in the 1700s differs from schoolboy graffiti today? How?

Ah! Too many things to say. Clearly the link back to the blog title apart from anything else.

No, that wasn't highlight of the day. Apparently the lamb rack dinner was, but if read about that it's because Jayne,who cooked it, has edited this.

The highlight of the day? Tasting cognac at Cognac!

Sorry. Not brave enough for a caption.

Don't worry Dave. We're going to Condom on Saturday. Now if Cognac is famous for cognac ...